Joan Vandervliet 1944-2009
As many of you know, my mother has been fighting pancreatic cancer for the past year.
This weekend, she finally earned her rest.
If you ever had met my mother, you know there was nothing more important to her than her family, which was extended to more than just my siblings and myself through her involvement in community, both in Midland Park, through her activities with the school organizations we participated in our youth, and then her 15+ years as a member of the Midland Park Board of Education.
She was “Aunt Joanie” to so many, a surrogate mother to others, friends of ours who lost the mother.
None was more important to her than her grandchildren, Sarah and Matthew, for whom she fought so fiercely for every day she had for the past year.
My brother, and sisters have lost our biggest supporter, our staunchest advocate, and our greatest ally in our pursuit of dreams and future.
Sometimes she was also our greatest infuriation, but in that way that someone who sees what is best for us, when we ourselves can’t.
At this time I want to thank my friends who have helped me through this past year, with all the support you have given. You helped make it possible for me to make it through this past year, and to face the future ahead.
with great love
David
Below find my mother’s obituary.
VANDERVLIET, Joan, nee Traino, age 64, died at her home on Saturday, March 14, 2009.
Born in Paterson, she lived in Midland Park since 1979. Joan served on the Midland Park Board of Education from 1993 to 2008, serving as both President and Vice-President during her tenure. She was also an active member of Grace Church in Ridgewood, serving in many ministries, most dear to her was the Missions Committee.
Joan is survived by her loving children; Terri Morse of Midland Park, Susan Vandervliet of Gulfport, FL, Robert Vandervliet of Houston, TX, and David Vandervliet of the Bronx, NY; and her grandchildren Sarah and Matthew Morse. She is also survived by her brother John Traino of Hawthorne, NJ.
Visiting hours will be Tuesday 7 to 9 pm, and Wednesday 2 to 4 pm at Grace Church, 340 Meadowbrook Ave, Ridgewood, NJ 07450. There will be a funeral service on Wednesday at 7:00 pm at Grace Church. There will be a prayer service at Grace Church on Thursday at 10:00 am, followed by the interment at the George Washington Memorial Park, Paramus. Arrangements by the Vander Plaat Funeral Home, 257 Godwin Ave., Wyckoff, NJ, www.vpfh.com.
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to the Grace Church Mission Fund, 340 Meadowbrook Ave, Ridgewood, NJ 07450, or the Darrah B. Swezey Scholarship Fund, 55 East Center St., Midland Park, NJ 07432.
S.O.S – Saving One’s Self
Well…
This is not an abandoned blog.
I used to fancy myself a writer. But I haven’t been moved to write much lately. I am going to change that.
Starting now.
I am going to be completely honest with you. My life is tragically of course. There has been no big thing that has derailed tho. Just a series of little things. Wrong choices, bad decisions… I am now just getting back to where I wanted to be 10 years ago. I see that me, in 1990’s, already having made some bad choices, but the normal things people do in their early 20’s, nothing that was insurmountable. I knew what the mistakes were. I just couldn’t see the long term concesquences.
I, like most people, tend to think of myself as good person, with a reasonable moral center. I always thought of myself as the hero in the story. But my own myopic sense, did not see the road ahead, where I was going. I made safe choices, took the easiest road. My choices were influenced by fear, and selfishness. I told myself I was sacrificing opportunities for a noble end.
I was just afraid. Afraid of risk. Real risk. And without real risk, There is no real reward in life.
So, here I am. closing in on 40, alone, and adrift.
I have held on to the belief that, someone would be the lighthouse, leading me to where I am suppose to be.
So I spent the last 10 years as a hopeless myopic romantic.
I can’t save anyone else, if I can’t save myself.
Geeksville – Childhood for sale
Yes I am selling pieces of my childhood off a bit at time on ebay
I started by posting 9 vintage star wars action figures, amazingly 5 went very quickly with BUY IT NOW (they were a mix of foreign carded and minor scuffed RTOJ or POTF1 cards) but there are still 4 left! Including Yoda, on the first card he was ever issued and a Cool Han Solo – see links below.
The gentleman who bought up most of the figures already sold, made me an open offer on the lot of my remaining vintage Star Wars collection so next weekend I will begin unpacking boxes and taking photos to send him.
Never thought I would see this day come…
Han Solo in Trench Coat – 1984 ROTJ CARD
B-Wing Pilot – 1986 POTF Card w/ Coin
Death Squad Commander – 1977 12 Back Original!
YODA – 1980 ESB 40 Back CardIn a way its good. Very good, my love for these things, has kept me back, kept me from embracing my full adulthood – I have collected and compiled and hung on to so many things, that it is hard to make room in my heart for the new.
More things coming soon
Countdown to Midlife Crisis 12 – The Countdown resumes
hey there blog buddies -
Thank you thank you thank you for all your support again, so many of you have given me so much in the ways that you all could, and I am eternally grateful.
But that doesn’t make up for the lack of COUNTDOWNS. So….
RETURNS!
So lets quick catch up, I am temping and I hate it, but I knew I would when I started. So I sally forth.
Things are slowly coming together for me on the homefront, as I catch up after 8 months of touring. I am looknig into the possiblity of getting a roommate, now since I have a 1 bedroom, that means I may need to move, unless I become very close to a single female anytime soon (no don’t have one in particular in mind). That being said, I have shared my place short term with friends before, folks who needed a place to stay while they were in town for a week a month ever a couple of days, and I will continue that offer as long as folks need it. (think of it as staying at Dave’s Bronx B&B)
I know many of you have expressed concern about my mother. She is still in chemo, but responding as well as we could have hoped. Her spirits are strong, and positive, and she is looking forward to the family vacation she had planned before she became ill, in August, when she will go with my sisters and their families to Myrtle Beach, SC for a week.
GEEKSVILLE - its coming back don’t you worry, I have 2 reviews sitting on my desk that need proofing, A comic and that second half of the Doctor Who finale.
LOST LOVE - Well I said in the last one, I think I am done with that now, I have been looking to my past to figure out what I had been doing wrong there, and It has served me well - I do have a new series planned to follow up on it. I think if you like to read the MISSED CONNECTIONS on craigslist.org yo may like this. LOL
JOB HUNT - That is the next project, I am temping yes, I have no intentions of staying in the place forever tho, so expect to hear about what it takes to re-invent yourself in today’s job market.
Ok much peace to you all -
The Countdown continues…..
I need your help
Hey Friends,
I am not sure how it has come to this…
As most of you know, I have been helping taking care of my mother, who has stage 4 pancreatic cancer. This has not been easy on my mother, my family or myself. I had been working on tour for the past 6 months, and between my tour expenses, travel to and from home to see/help and just my normal expenses (rent, phone, electric, student loans…etc) I am starting to fall behind.
And now tour is over, I should be getting re-imbursed for my tour expenses soon, but without work income coming in (my tour contract ended 6/15) and mom’s medical expenses keep coming in…
Well I am waiting on a temp job (I should be working next week) and I have put in for unemployment, so I should get some money for the time I am waiting for work to start up again… but the next two weeks are going to be rough.. so I thought, hey I can’t ask any one friend for a 4-500 bucks I would need to get through the rest of june, but maybe I can ask my 150-200 or so friends out there who read my blogs and are on my facebook and myspace to each lend me 5-20 bucks.
Is there any one out there who feel they can help me out?
I have Paypal, and those of you who are members of the AFCU, you can even just transfer funds to me.
Thank you for your help
David
The Countdown is back – Countdown week 26 – Televison is the mirror of my reality
Ok - I bet you read that and thought I was going to say something about reality TV - well you would be wrong, since I don’t really watch too much reality TV. Oh I may catch a bit of Extreme Makeover Home Addition, because I enjoy seeing how they make some of those things. And some of the other renovation shows (going all the way back to “This Old House”) cause even though I am not a home owner, I like to know how to do things around the house. And sometimes sitting in a hotel room you have nothing to watch but some of the trainwreck celebreality shows on VH-1, but that is not reality… my reality is on CBS and its called “The Big Bang Theory“
This week’s episode, entitled “The Nerdvana Annihilation” once again made me laugh at myself and at times scared me a little too much of what I am. This week’s episode brought up the issue of choosing to put away nerdyish things, to become a more mainstream member of society.
It is a delimna I find myself in – There are things going on in my life right now, important things, that I need to face, and I have to put aside some of the things truely make me happy for a time.
Where have I been
Some of you have begun to ask me - what happened? Where have you been David, I have missed my weekly Geek love and midlife crisis updates
Well the last few weeks have been quite a handful for me. My tour life was taking a bit of a toll on my body, as I fought off a cold, so late feb and early march I began to slack off a bit
Then I was hit with a bit of a personal bomb, My mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer, a non operable 3cm tumor had developd at the tip of her pancreas and had begun to matasize into her liver.
If you happen to see the recent news about Patrick Swayze, then you may know how serious this cancer is.
My attention of late has been, understandbly on my mother, and my family.
I will return to this blog – I want to - I need to have something regular to focus back on.
Thanks to my friends who have offered their emotional support
Counting down to Midlife Crisis – Week 40 – Its not the years, its the milage
I am working on the road again (look forward to some Tour-ture blogs) for TheatreworksUSA, but I am mostly local in January
The countdown to midlife crisis is meant to be humorous, but this week I got to spend time with a good friend of mine, a good friend who happens to be 22 years old. I hung out with her and one of her friends for a while, listening to them talk about all the things they plan on, their carreer goals, their life goals, (Start a commune?) It was the first time in a while where I felt really old, and unfulfilled
Somewhere I have a journal with 5 goals I wanted in 5 years that I wrote in 1995. I need to find that list and see how I did.
It was the New Years’ and I did not make a list of resolutions this year. I seldom keep them. The only resolution I am going to make this year is to strive to be happy and healthy this year.
Week 44 – 1992 Revisited – Did I mention I travel in time
One of the nice things about touring theatre is I get to go back to places I don’t get to too often. This week my tour took me to southeastern Michigan, with performances in Monroe and Jackson. So I called upon an old friend (whom I have not actually seen in almost 12 years) and told him I would be in the area. He, being the immensely cool dude that he is, said “Dude I have a spare room with your name on it, if you want”
So here I was, spending my first actual night in Ann Arbor in years (the last time I was out the was for an Ozzfest concert, a trip that included an unfortunate incident with some poison ivy, but was still a great time)
I got to spend time with old friends in a place that I truely enjoy going. There was a moment or two when I was sitting there, laughing and catching up where I thought “I wonder if UProd is looking for an associate producer or and assistant Production Manager”
Of course, I don’t think I would really take a job in A2, I am a New Yorker, living anywhere else full time would be kidding myself.
But I had a great time – went to my first professional Roller Derby, the Detroit Derby Girls, I got to see the Detroit Pistoffs beat the D-Funk Allstars at the Masonic Temple, and the head ref of the bout was my old friend from college, aka Iggy Slop.
The only thing is that there was just not enough time to see everyone and do everything I would have liked to – the next time I get a weekend off I would love to head out there, maybe go the good old Nectarine Ballroom (now simply as Necto) for a monday night industrial flashback. And a trip to Angelo’s for some of that delicious French Toast.
When I finally make it big, I will get myself a place in out there tho -
