Why can’t we be MORE than friends?

Yes, its another repeat –

This was from the original Geeksville blog on myspace (and I am thinking of expanding it for a videoblog) I originally wrote this in October ‘06, shortly after my 35th Birthday… I am sure there was a woman in mind specifically when I wrote it, but for the life of me I am not sure who it was, and I am sure I am still friends with them to this day, and i just have gotten over it, imagine that.

Do you remember in “When Harry met Sally” and they were in the car driving, and talking about why men and women can’t be friends, because men really just want to sleep with their women friends?

I find that men do become friends with women, because they are attracted to them, on some level. I am going to admit that. For the most part the women with whom I choose to socialize with platonically, I would probably have a romantic relationship with if the opportunity arose.

Which is why I believe I have discovered the collorary to this rule -

Women only become friends with men they do not want to date.

By that I mean, women have male friends with whom they share things with on a very personal level, because they feel safe, they feel that this is not something that will be used in a relationship somehow. I guess its part of the “nice guy” syndrome.

Of course, the nice guy isn’t going to tell you this, so I will.

Ladies, if you have a single straight male friend, that you confide in, andhe genuinely listens, and has helped you through issues (especially dating issues) HE LIKES YOU AND WANTS TO BE MORE THAN FRIENDS. He doesn’t feel he wants to risk the friendship tho, because having you as a friend, especially a friend who you confide in and trust in so much is more important to him, so much so that he probably eschews other possible relationships.

There, I spilled the beans.

OK  now I would like share the insights  of what another 2.5 years of life and love experiences have given me

Guys

Man up, be brave, and ask the woman out. (ok those of you who know me, stop laughing)

Seriously, the worst she can do is say no.  If you and she are really friends, and you can live with that,  it may be awkward for a bit, but discuss it, then move on.

I am not going to say it will never happen,  but don’t wait on it.   Just be the best friend you could be

Ladies,  care to add anything?  A little straight talk for my geeks?

www.geeksville.wordpress.com

Remembering my Mother.

Below is the memorial I gave for my mother, Joan Vandervliet at her service, and the video my brother prepared

On behalf of  our family, I first want to thank you all for coming out tonight to help remember our mother, Joan. It’s a testament to the life she lives and to the love she had to see so many people here.

If there is only one trait of my mother’s I hope to possess and carry on it is her infinite capacity to to love and her near infinite capacity to give freely of herself.

There is probably not one person  here who knew my mother who didn’t hear her say  “I’ll do that”  or “Let me help”.

More than anyone else, my mother loved to help the kids in her community.  To many, she became  known as “Aunt Joanie”, practically being a second mother to many.   I remember the boy in high school, who was a member of the marching band.  He was not from Midland Park, being hearing impaired, he lived over 20 miles away.   He would have to wait at the school, or find somewhere else to go between 3 o’clock and the start of band practice, in the evenings.  My mother would always make sure he got some dinner, and he had a place he could stay at our house when he needed somewhere to go.   This young man was 2 years behind me in school, but my mother continued to open our house to him, even after I had gone off to college.  This is just one of the many stories I have  be reminded off from friends who have wanted to tell me how my mother touched their lives.

Of course, my mother was not above having favorites,  the Sinclairs have been family in all ways except by name.  And of course there were my mother’s two most precious favorites, her grand children,  Sarah and Matthew.

As they grow up I hope I can help instill in them, and in my own children someday, the spirit of generosity and  love, that they can connect to their “Grammy”, to help keep her example as they grow up and make their own way in the world.

Again, I want to thank you for all the love you have given us in this time and all the compassion and support you have given our family.

Too much technology?

This is my first attempt to write a blog directly on my iPhone.

I am using the wordpress app which is free from the Apple App store on Itunes.

Do I really need to be able to blog from my phone?

Does this mean more updates more often?

Do you even care?

Joan Vandervliet 1944-2009

As many of you know, my mother has been fighting pancreatic cancer for the past year.

This weekend, she finally earned her rest.

If you ever had met my mother, you know there was nothing more important to her than her family, which was extended to more than just my siblings and myself through her involvement in community, both in Midland Park, through her activities with the school organizations we participated in our youth, and then her 15+ years as a member of the Midland Park Board of Education.

She was “Aunt Joanie” to so many, a surrogate mother to others, friends of ours who lost the mother.

None was more important to her than her grandchildren, Sarah and Matthew, for whom she fought so fiercely for every day she had for the past year.

My brother, and sisters have lost our biggest supporter, our staunchest advocate, and our greatest ally in our pursuit of dreams and future.

Sometimes she was also our greatest infuriation, but in that way that someone who sees what is  best for us, when we ourselves can’t.

At this time I want to thank my friends who have helped me through this past year, with all the support you have given. You helped make it possible for me to make it through this past year, and to face the future ahead.

with great love

David

Below find my mother’s obituary.

VANDERVLIET, Joan, nee Traino, age 64, died at her home on Saturday, March 14, 2009.

Born in Paterson, she lived in Midland Park since 1979. Joan served on the Midland Park Board of Education from 1993 to 2008, serving as both President and Vice-President during her tenure. She was also an active member of Grace Church in Ridgewood, serving in many ministries, most dear to her was the Missions Committee.

Joan is survived by her loving children; Terri Morse of Midland Park, Susan Vandervliet of Gulfport, FL, Robert Vandervliet of Houston, TX, and David Vandervliet of the Bronx, NY; and her grandchildren Sarah and Matthew Morse. She is also survived by her brother John Traino of Hawthorne, NJ.

Visiting hours will be Tuesday 7 to 9 pm, and Wednesday 2 to 4 pm at Grace Church, 340 Meadowbrook Ave, Ridgewood, NJ 07450. There will be a funeral service on Wednesday at 7:00 pm at Grace Church. There will be a prayer service at Grace Church on Thursday at 10:00 am, followed by the interment at the George Washington Memorial Park, Paramus. Arrangements by the Vander Plaat Funeral Home, 257 Godwin Ave., Wyckoff, NJ, www.vpfh.com.

In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to the Grace Church Mission Fund, 340 Meadowbrook Ave, Ridgewood, NJ 07450, or the Darrah B. Swezey Scholarship Fund, 55 East Center St., Midland Park, NJ 07432.

Who Watches the Watchmen

For nearly 3 hours I sat, in the dark, with this beautiful woman, a woman I waited years to be with… and then she proceeded to give me a hand job, a hand job that, while technically proficient failed utterly at its true purpose, and failed in giving the intended conclusion.

No Happy Ending

I just described my experience with the film “WATCHMEN”. It was gorgeous to look at, and in the end had little heart in what it was doing. That is not to say there weren’t moments I enjoyed, it just didn’t truly fulfill on its intentions or promises.

What did I like…

James Earl Ray as Roarshach – given the most to act in this movie, he did really embrace the character. He was quite convincing as the hero turned psychopath – and his story, more than anyone else’s survived the transition to the screen with minimal disruption, though I missed the details of his origin and his connection to the true story of Kitty Genovese. More importantly also missing was his discovery of his “face”, finding the fabric…

Jeffery Dean Morgan – as the Comedian – I think his task was far more daunting, to play this truly despicable person, and make him someone we have to care about. It was uneven at times, which I actually blame on David Hayter’s screenplay, which almost slavishly followed the letter of the graphic novel on which it based, but some how missing the heart.

Visual/Art Direction… Much like his previous comic adaption (300) Zack Snyder again took his cues directly from the source material, recreating several key images from David Gibbons original artwork. The fight choreography, particularly in the brutal
prison riot, was a ballet in carnage,p and the final showdown was a sublime as it was savage. But what Mr. Snyder has in technical skill, he lacks in subtly. The images in the original graphic novel had to be so striking, because they didn’t move. Each frame has to do the job of hundreds of individual movie frames. But when moving, and 60 feet wide on the screen, the come off over the top and cartoony.

What I didn’t like..

Pretty much the rest of the movie. This is not to say I thought the actors were bad, just poorly cast, and not given all the colors their characters had in the comic. (well except maybe Matthew Good as Ozymandias, he just seemed so blah, but then his back story was the one least explored, who knows what may lie on the cutting room floor and that we will see in the directors cut DVD someday)

The screenplay, was clearly written by someone with a great admiration for the book, only changing what had to be for time constraints and clarifiction, even the major plot change in the final act works, and makes sense, and I didn’t have any great sense of “how could they have changed..” this or that, even the alteration of the ending didn’t bother me, I almost wished that he had taken a little more liberty. Cause I think more of the heart of the story could have been served. But this movie was beng made by people who were well aware of Alan Moore’s (the writer of the original comic) feeling about adaptation of his work, and Hollywood’s poor track record. (League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, anyone?)

Some stories are just intended for their medium. Alan Moore created a dense, complex world in an alternate reality, he used parallel story telling, and supplemented his story with additional character pieces, news reports, all done in different styles reflect the 40+ years of history and these segments do not necessarily translate all translate well (though the tv interview Wally Weaver was successful, and I enjoyed the inclusion of stories from Hollis’ book “Under the Hood”.

Was anyone else bothered by the vamped up attention given to the Silhoutte lesbian story, but complete ignoring the gay relationship between Captain Metropolis and Hooded Justice?

The thing is, there was plenty in this movie to like, but sadly it was not greater than the sum of its parts, which is something that a great story is. After all that, I do recommend seeing this movie, if only to see how great it could have been. Also to deliver to the studios the message that we want movies that take these kind of chances, and hopefully someone who has never picked up a comic book in their lives went to see this movie, and was intrigued enough by it to go and track down a copy of the graphic novel, and see what it really was all about.

Hi, Remember me?

Hi

Remember me?

If you don’t I understand – its been months since I have done any blogging.

Life is at an interesting point right now, some  ups, some downs.

I will try to get on here more.  I promise.

I do have a lot on my mind, and a lot to share with you.

Crawling from the Wreckage – or just moving forward.

I think i see the light at the end of the tunnel…

Did you hear a train whistle?

Now, I don’t want to seem overdramatic.

I know my life is not “bad” per se. I have had fortunate to have had so many opportunties given to me.

I know that the only person who is responsible for any anxiety I feel is me, and outside of those people who have known me through my various incarnations, and known the me beneath it all, what I do and say here will not affect you much.

There is something about tracking one’s progress like this, in open forum tho that motivates someone like me to get off my ass, get in the game. By putting it here, you can call me on it. I am making a commitment to the universe, but really with myself

OK – I have 4 days off in a row. (it has been since Sept 2007 since that happened)

The writer in me wants out, so I plan on spending from tonight til sunday working on a 1st draft of a pilot script. 4 acts, 45minutes in length Single camera family drama, which I am currently calling “My Generation”

By the end of 2008 I want to try character work, so I plan on trying to write 3 spec scripts, for current shows.

Thoughts?

S.O.S – Saving One’s Self

Well…
This is not an abandoned blog.

I used to fancy myself a writer.   But I haven’t been moved to write much lately.  I am going to change that.

Starting now.

I am going to be completely honest with you.  My life is tragically of course.   There has been no big thing that has derailed tho.  Just a series of little things.   Wrong choices, bad decisions…   I am now just getting back to where I wanted to be 10 years ago.   I see that me, in 1990’s, already having made some bad choices, but the normal things people do in their early 20’s, nothing that was insurmountable.    I knew what the mistakes were.   I just couldn’t see the long term concesquences.

I, like most people, tend to think of myself as good person, with a reasonable moral center.  I always thought of myself as the hero in the story.   But my own myopic sense, did not see the  road ahead, where I was going.   I made safe choices,  took the easiest road.   My choices were influenced by fear, and selfishness.  I told myself I was sacrificing opportunities for a noble end.

I was just afraid.   Afraid of risk.  Real risk.  And without real risk, There is no real reward in life.

So, here I am.  closing in on 40,  alone, and adrift.

I have held on to the belief that, someone  would be the lighthouse, leading me to where I am suppose to be.

So I spent the last 10 years as a hopeless myopic romantic.

I can’t save anyone else, if I can’t save myself.

Sorry I have been MIA of late…

Hey there sports fans…

I have been neglecting all of you. My apologies, life, as most of you know, has been kinda crazy.

Hope to get back to sharing thoughts with you,  the world has been a pretty amazing place since I left.

Let’s talk soon.

D

2008 Decided – Congrats to President-Elect Obama

Hail to the Chief

Obama – California, Washington, Oregon, Virgina,

McCain -   South Dakota, Nebraska (4 of 5 votes) Idaho

TOO CLOSE TO CALL
Florida North Carolina, Indiana, Missouri,  Montana

Can you believe Indiana?  watch those Lake County totals, Virginia?  Fairfax County.

TOO EARLY TO CALL
Colorado, NEVADA (Clark county is the key)

OBAMA McCAIN
297           146

SENATE

Senator Al Frankin?  He’s good enough, He’s smart enough, and gosh darnit, people like him!

DEMOCRATS      52(+2 caucusing Independants)
REPUBLICANS    40

HOUSE

DEMOCRATS      260

REPUBLICANS    175